Jan. 27th, 2017

anonymoose_au: (Oh Save Me Jeebus)
10:29pm: That would make a good name for a band, but that's not why I'm using that subject title. I'm using it because I cried today and for me the saying "Nothing like a good cry" is totally untrue. I swear I'm allergic to my own tears or something because after crying my eyes get swollen and get terribly dry and I end up with a nasty headache.

The eyes have settled down a bit, but the headache has continued, despite me having taken some Nurofen. Seriously, what the fuck? I don't need this.

You may well wonder why was I crying? Well, it's rather perverse, in typical Moose-style now that something I didn't really want to do isn't happening I feel all regretful about it, like I've made the wrong decision. In this case, it's the whole moving in with the little bro thing, him bringing back all my stuff yesterday was confirmation that the whole thing was off the table and now I'm worried about loneliness.

Because I did mean it when I told my parents some times I get lonely living by myself and I don't know what to do about that. Except I kind of like they idea of a family member being around, I mean I feel like I could probably tell the little bro if I was feeling anxious, where as if I got a random flatmate some day (not that I could in the place I'm hoping to move into next year) that wouldn't be possible.

On the other hand, I'm sure having to drive five times as long to work would get on my nerves too and maybe the little bro and I would end up getting on each other's nerves and all that. Also this feeling of loneliness is usually pretty fleeting like two or maybe three days at most? There was one point last year where it lasted like a week, but that was pretty much it. Upending my whole life is probably a bit of an over-reaction to that?

Aaaah, I dunno, maybe I'm just tired, I don't think I've caught up on my sleep properly at all this week and the tear-induced headache has done me no favours I'm sure.

I'm gonna wrap this up and turn in.

Goodnight all!

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